Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Golf Club Sign
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. 
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP. 
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! 
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING. 
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER. 
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE. 
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU. 
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS. 
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING. 
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES. 


WELL DONE... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL,

GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.

Friday, 11 January 2013

Testicle Therapy

> Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her
> ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

> The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands
> together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around
> in agony.
> The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
> 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physiotherapist and I know I could
> relieve your pain if you'd only allow me,' she told him.

> 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man
> replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still
> clasping his hands there at his groin.
> At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She
> gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his
> trousers and put her hands slowly and carefully inside. She then
> administered a tender and skillful massage for several long moments
> and softly asked, 'How does that feel'?

> 'Feels wonderful', he replied; 'but I still think my bloody thumb's broken! '

Wednesday, 24 October 2012


OMG a golf magician - truly amazing!‏





This is what you call amazing

Monday, 15 October 2012

OMG Look Out... What would you have done?

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Magnificent comeback; 4 down & win, by 14½-13½ congratulations to the 2012 Ryder Cup Captain & team, great job. Seve Ballesteros’s is :)))))

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Ryder Cup 2021


Good Luck to both sides may the best side win... 

Friday, 24 August 2012

parteecentral The day is finally here - Partee Augmented Reality Golf FREE - http://t.co/F6kdDOVc

Sunday, 22 July 2012

Congratulations to Ernie Els, the 2012 Open Champion Golfer of the Year.

Sunday, 8 April 2012

2012 Masters Champion.

Congratulations Bubba, 2012 Masters Champion.

Phone Call‏

Several men are in the locker room of the Golf Club. A mobile rings and a member presses the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I am in the Shopping Centre and found this beautiful leather coat in the Sales. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: “£68,000” MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ...The house I wanted last year is back on the market They're asking £895,000" MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of £850,000. They will probably take it. It's really a pretty good price." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..... He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Saturday, 18 February 2012

A new game was invented in Scotland.

A new game was invented in Scotland. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only.Ladies Forbidden' & thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.

Monday, 19 December 2011

For the Love of Golf

Four old friends were playing their weekly game of golf. One remarked
how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed
and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his pals
and play a round.

His friends all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a
priority; figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the
golf course.

The first player says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my
wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."

The second guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning
the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."

The third man says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car,
reading the manual."

They all turned to the last one of the group who is staring at them
like they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to such
expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the bum and said,
Well babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning for sex or golf,” and
all she said was, “You'll need a sweater.”